Trust
by simsbabii
Summary: Nobody trusts me. I can’t trust anybody. Not James. Not Natla. Not even Lara. TRL/TRU from Amanda's POV. Rated for strong language and slight sexual themes.
1. Prolouge

**Hi. This is the beginning of a story I started to write in fourth grade for my geeky friend. Its pretty much Legend/Underworld from Amanda's point of view. Because he has a crush on her (don't ask because I don't know)**

**Disclaimer: I disclaim all Tomb Raider characters, including the ~sexy~ Alister.**

**. . . **

Trust.

Whenever the word comes to mind, I come up blank with examples. Nobody trusts me. I can't trust anybody. Not James. Not Natla. Not even Lara.

I did have trust once, a long time ago. Before I became who I am and who I was. It was back in college that I could trust Lara. We lost _that _trust when she didn't come back for me. When she killed James. When I tried to kill _her _in return. James, well I always trusted him. That lasted to the second Lara killed him. Natla, well, I don't think I ever trusted that Atlantean whore. Even if she made the one thing that got what I really wanted- my Demon Stone.

I'm a hero now, you know. I kept Helheim from destroying the world. I helped Lara find her mother, in a way. And even though I won't be remembered for the good things I did, at least I did them. If I didn't, I wouldn't be who I am today.

So either sit down and shut up or leave. I'll only tell you what happened once.

**. . . **

**Short intro is short. More to come when I get around to typing.**


	2. Rutland

**I was reading stuff in the TR forums about Amanda and her control over the Wraith. I believe, in a sense, that the Wraith has more control over Amanda than she does over it, causing her to be irrational and act on impulses. And when it's control over her fades, she feels empty. Almost as if it is a drug and she is addicted. She believes the Wraith will give her everything she wants. It makes her powerful and deadly. It makes her strong, and she doesn't know how to cope without it. Thus slightly explaining her bedraggled, hobo-chique appearance in TRU.**

**Disclaimer: I disclaim all Tomb Raider characters and places involved. **

**Oh, and words written in bold and italics are the Wraith speaking to Amanda :P**

**. . . **

"James where the hell is she? She was supposed to be here!" I shouted, clenching my fists angrily.

Yelling at James probably wasn't the best thing I've ever done, or the smartest. But this waiting around for fucking _Lara_ was pushing my breaking point. All I've ever done since college was wait around for that sleaze bag heiress to come looking for me.

"She's here Amanda. Calm the hell down." James waved his hand at me as if to dismiss my statement.

I walked over to hip, putting my hands on my hips and swaying slightly. I swore to whatever fucking deity was up there that if one of James' men looked at me I would punch them in the face.

"How do you know she's here?"

"We've lost contact with the majority of my mercenaries, Amanda. She's here." James assured, putting a hand on my shoulder.

Sighing, I nodded and took a step backwards. I turned around to look at the center of this island thing. There were five pillars, each with its own unique carving, situated around a central circle. There was a separate ring seeming to be made out of metal around the inner circle. There was a stone dais at the base of one of the pillars. I turned my head to look at the sword fragment in James' hand. We already knew that it was a piece of a powerful weapon. The other fragments were scattered across the globe.

I turned around when the sound of stones scraping against each other reached my ears. _Well, somebody took her goddamn time. _I thought bitterly. Gunfire was opened, but only a few shots were fired before James called them off.

"Should've let them kill her." I mumbled, walking back to the helicopter.

"Lara Croft! I've been hoping to see you!" James said this as if he was greeting an old friend.

I snorted, buckling down for the show. Swinging my feet aimlessly, I tried to her their conversation. There wasn't even a fucking echo in the room. The wooden bridge the two stood on swung back and forth slowly like a pendulum. I caught a few words, especially near the end of their conversation when the tension thickened like milk left out in the sun for too long.

"You should've paid more attention in Paraíso."

"Amanda? Amanda's dead," I couldn't help but laugh softly at this declaration, "what the hell do you know about Paraíso?"

James walked back across the bridge and gave an order to his mercenaries. I pushed myself up slowly, pausing in a crouch as Lara narrowly missed being gunned down by the second helicopter. She leapt from the crumbling bridge. Her fingers clawed at the dirt for a moment in a final attempt to get a good grip. I swore silently as she pulled up onto the island and shot one of our men in the head. I cringed as the man fell onto the ground, his blood staining the stone.

"Get away from the fucking door, Amanda. We're taking off." James announced.

"I won't fall out James." I snapped, before softening, "you should know that."

Despite me not being able to fully look at him, I knew he rolled his eyes at me. I held onto the side as we began to rise into the air. I found myself watching the battle below with bated breath. How can somebody who is supposedly so professional be so… cruel? Lara kicked one man over the edge. His scream echoed in my head until we were well away from the temple. I knew something right then and there- Lara_ needed _ to be stopped.

For the good of the world. Lara, the mother fucking Baroness of Abbington. She _had_ to be stopped. What James and I were doing, our intents were right. We were right. What the Wraith whispered to me at night was right. _Right. We are right._ I stood, slowly at first.

"James, I think there's something I missed." _**Missed. Missed something. Something. **_

"Where? What the hell are you talking about?"

"In Paraíso. We need to go back." _**Back. Go back. Go.**_ Sliding into the seat, I looked out at the horizon. It was actually beautiful. Rainforest was all I could see for miles. Somewhere out there was the truth. And the truth was exactly what I was going to get.

"I'll land outside of Cusco. We can stay there while I bring in more men from the states, alright?"

"Fine. While we're staying there, I need to make a quick trip to visit an old colleague of mine in Desaguadero."

"Okay. Now shut up, I need to concentrate."

**. . . **

Dirt came up in a cloud around my feet. Anaya's house was close. I spotted the house from the photo I had dug up on the internet and started to run. My boots barely made a sound against the dirt. Luckily, the house was dark. I pulled open the shutters on one of the windows. No glass. Perfect. I pulled myself up and through the window. Trying to be as quiet as I could, I stepped into the room. Through the soft moonlight, I could make out a bed and a sleeping figure. Well, a figure that had been sleeping.

The girl rubbed her eyes, "who's there?"

"Anaya." _**Get. Get Answers. Answers.**_

"Amanda?" My old friend rubbed her eyes again, most likely not believing what she was seeing. I'm supposed to be dead anyways, right?

"You know how I died all those years ago? Well now I need answers Anaya. What happened in that tomb… I need to know." The purpose of my journey here had disappeared. The Wraith's thoughts stopped pounding through my head, leaving it cold and empty. _Why did I come here? Anaya was on her way back to La Paz to pick up the professor during the incident. _

"I do not know what caused your death. I do miss you, though." Good. Anaya thinks this is all a dream. At least she won't go telling Lara.

Something clicked in my mind, "but Lara does know."

On that note, I hopped out of the window, leaving behind a tired Anaya. Lara knew. She would have answers. I pulled my phone from my shorts pocket and called James.

"Rutland." He answered. I could imagine him, sitting in one of the chairs in our hotel room or lying on the bed.

"I'm done. You can come and get me now." I told him softly. A breeze picked up, blowing my blonde hair in my face.

"Alright. I'll be there soon."

"Bye, I-" The other line went dead, and I sighed, "I love you."


	3. Memories

**Time to fwee. I attacked Wikipedia and I discovered the best little tidbit ever that made my OTOTP even stronger. I shall quote it… now.**

**James W. Rutland Jr.**: The son of a senator and a West Point graduate, Rutland also grew up in a bubble of wealth. His motives, however, are a little more self-centered, and he is romantically linked to Amanda.

***dies***

**Disclaimer: I disclaim all Tomb Raider characters and places involved. **

**Claimer: I claim the annoying woman at the check-in desk because she is actually from one of my writing projects. She was an Atlantean *which was totally unplanned at first but now I am working it into the plot***

**Warnings: Strong swearing and implied sexual themes.**

**. . . **

**Recap**

"I'm done. You can come and get me now." I told him softly. A breeze picked up, blowing my blonde hair in my face.

"Alright. I'll be there soon."

"Bye, I-" The other line went dead, and I sighed, "I love you."

**. . .**

I burrowed my face in the soft linen sheets. They smelled like laundry. We just got back around an hour ago. James was already asleep. I, on the other hand, could not even close my eyes. The Wraith's voice was so loud in my head. _**Go. Go back. Back.**_ _**Close. So close. Close.**_ I wanted to scream. Emptiness didn't consume me and I was glad but I couldn't even hear my own pleading thoughts over the voice of the entity. Possession isn't fun for anyone.

Of course, I'm not really possessed. When you're possessed you can't summon whatever possessed you, or use its powers, right?

And when the thoughts would disappear, I had James. James always distracted me from the growing pain. And boy is he a distraction. I mean, James can be a mother fucking asshole when he wants to be- I think it's a spoiled rich kid thing. When he isn't absorbed in himself he's a normal boyfriend.

I still find it amazing that we get along at all. We both want Excalibur, but for different reasons. He wants the power, while I… I just want to be free of this curse. And because the sword can send me to Avalon, it may actually happen.

Next to me, James shifted, interrupting my thoughts.

"Why the hell are you awake?" He asked, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"I couldn't sleep." I answered vaguely.

James' eyes rested on the stone strapped around my neck, "maybe if you took off the stupid necklace you would be able to without having those nightmares."

"I don't need you telling me what to do, James. I can take care of myself." I snapped.

James propped himself up on his elbow and gave me a meaningful look, "I think you're lying."

"I think you're being an ass." I turned to face the wall.

James turned my head back towards him and kissed me. I kissed him back, forcing the wraith out. James was supposed to make it better. He always does.

Pulling away, James looked me in the eyes, "so why exactly are we going to La Paz again?"

"I never told you what happened, did I?" I guessed, holding the wraith stone between my forefinger and my thumb.

"You gave me a vague 'people died and Lara's gone'." James confirmed.

"Okay. You'll have to find out eventually." I took a deep breath before launching into the story.

**. . .**

"Lara, come on you slacker! Jason says we're about to break through!" I called from the stone ledge I stood on.

"In a minute Amanda, we have some structural concerns." Lara replied from her perch on the rocks above me. Her hands fiddled with the metal pole.

"Will you just get down here?" I smiled and grabbed the rope, lowering myself into the hole below.

I dropped down and crawled through the small opening. Inside, the cave was dark. I took a flare from my pocket and lit it. Behind me, I heard a snap followed by a shout. I slid down the incline in front of me, "did the rope break?" There was no response, "looks like we lots the lights. I hope you brought flares."

I continued down the tunnel. Jason and Eva had set planks over a sinkhole I had gotten stuck in yesterday. I shivered a little and took a hesitant step onto them. Once I was sure I was safe, I began to cross. Halfway to the other side, a plank cracked and the entire thing crashed into the shallow hole below. I attempted to grab the pole above with no avail. I landed painfully in the pile of splintered wood. Cautiously, I stood and climbed out.

"Looks like the planks over the sinkhole broke," I cautioned, "you're gonna have to swing across."

Collecting myself, I began to jog back down the tunnel, "you're lagging!" I teased.

"You're such a tourist!" Lara quipped.

I reached the end of the tunnel and looked to my left. Something red was at the end. Out of nowhere, Eva's body came flying at me!

"Eva! Help!" I screamed, looking between my dead friend and the thing at the end of the hallway.

"What's happening? Amanda-" Lara's cries faded as I ran blindly in the opposite direction.

Fear consumed me almost as quickly as the adrenaline did. I ran to the closest opening and pulled hard on the metal bars. They didn't budge. I looked back down at the red thing, which was coming fast. I held my breath and kept running. I was so afraid I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard somebody calling my name.

"Amanda?" It was Kent.

"Kent?!" I called back, looking behind me. The creature had disappeared.

"Its her!" I heard Kent say.

"Wait, Kent!"

He was with Lara. My heart beat faster. I was so afraid and so happy. I started to run towards the voices when I tripped over something. I turned around and felt my face pale. It was Jason. Jason's body. Kent appeared in the tunnel just a few meters in front of me. The monster appeared and lashed its claws through him. He collapsed to the ground. I shrunk backwards, praying the thing wouldn't see me. It didn't, and instead chased down the hall after Lara.

But she wasn't my concern right now. My concern had to be getting out of here. I stood and stepped over my friends' bodies. Giving them both one last look, I started to run down the tunnel. Dust kicked up around my feet and I was scared out of my wits. The tunnel began to slope upward, and I gave a relieved sigh. There were two gates up ahead. Oliver, one of my best friends, was pulling on the one farthest away from me. I paused when I saw Lara.

"Lara! Jason's dead, everybody's dead!" I said desperately, trying to pry apart the bars.

"There's something- I don't- I don't know what it was, I only saw-" Lara stumbled over her words, attempting to keep control of her usual calm composure. I could see in her eyes that the worry and fear was getting to her, too. I looked down the hall as a bloodcurdling noise came from down the hall. The monster was coming. And it finally registered in my mind what it was.

"Ah! No!" I screamed, running towards Oliver. I motioned for him to run, but my gesticulations were ignored until the very last moment. I grabbed his arm and tried to pull him along, but he was frozen from fear. The creature grabbed him just as I released his arm.

I screamed again and began running. I emerged in a circular room. At the opposite end of the room was a stone set into the wall. Rocks came crashing down from the ceiling, letting in water. I splashed down to the other end and looked at the symbols around the stone. My translation was rough, but I understood enough to know it was a way out. I ran my hands around the area around it.

"Amanda!"

_Lara. She survived._ I thought happily, turning to look at her. She took the offense, turning around and backing towards me slowly.

"I think this stone unlocks the door." I explained, setting my hands on it.

"I don't like it. Are you sure you're reading it properly?" Lara questioned.

"That thing is coming! You have a better idea?" I challenged.

"The door might be trapped." Lara motioned towards the door.

"We're trapped!" I shouted as the creature emerged in the room, "Oh god!" I pulled hard on the stone. It pulsed faster and faster as the creature approached. I put all of my strength into pulling. My feet slid on the slick floor. Finally, I pulled the stone loose. I stumbled back a little and turned around to see the creature gone. I was right. It was a Wraith, here to guard whoever's body is here and kill all intruders.

The entire cavern shook. The ceiling was beginning to cave in, chunks of rocks falling in. Water followed quickly after, drastically changing the water level.

"Amanda, run!"

Lara and I began running towards the exit. The cave shook again and a pile of rocks and rubble fell on me. I let out a cry as my foot was caught and I was dragged down. I tugged at my laces desperately. _Stupid high-tops. I knew I should've worn the Nikes. _I scolded myself as I desperately pulled at the stupid shoes.

"Amanda!" Lara caught the door.

More and more water was pouring in. I stood up as well as I could before the water was over my head. I pushed my bangs out of my face and went back under, pulling on my shoe. The lace was stuck under a rock. I turned to look at Lara.

"Help me." I begged, letting out my precious air. It was so hard to pull off my shoe and hold onto that stupid stone.

There was a final crumbling sound as a larger portion of the ceiling collapsed ontop of me. But the stones never touched me. Something kept them away. I reached down for my laces and finally jerked them loose. My lungs begged for air. One of the larger rocks rolled away and I used what little strength I had left to propel myself to the top of the cave. There was still a god part that wasn't underwater. Gratefully, I took deep breaths of air. _**New. New master. Master.**_

I let out a yelp, looking around for the source of the voice. I lifted my hand up to look at the stone in my hand. It pulsated softly. I tucked it in my pocket and swam towards a small opening near the surface.

**. . .**

"When I saw that Lara left without me, I walked to the nearest town with a payphone and called you." I concluded.

"Well, that explains a lot." James sighed, "especially your lack of trust."

I smiled and pecked his lips, "I trust you."

James unhooked my necklace and set it on the nightstand, "sleep."

**. . .**

"Did the couple enjoy their stay?" The woman at the front desk asked cheerily. Her nametag said 'Alexandria' and her face repeated 'I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job'.

"Yeah, sure." I rolled my eyes and reached for the log book.

"A woman left this for you." Alexandria slid a card toward me as she retracted the log book.

It was a business card for Natla Technologies. I raised an eyebrow at the woman, "Natla Technologies? James and I aren't investors." I slid the card back towards her and began pulling the log book back.

Alexandria slammed her polished hand onto the log book, sliding the card towards me with her other hand, "I strongly insist that you take it. Jacqueline Natla doesn't like hearing 'no'."

"Look lady, I don't give a damn about Jacqueline Natla or her stupid company! Just let me sign out of this hellhole so I can move on with my life!" I snapped.

The woman's face paled, her brown eyes full of fear as they landed on the stone around my necklace. She quickly regained her composure and slid the book toward me, "I apologize. I don't know what came over me. You're boyfriend already paid."

I scribbled down the date and scowled at the woman, "yeah, neither do I." I meant her.

**Okay, so Alexandria is pretty weird. And in cahoots with Natla. Sorta. The next part of Peru will be posted soon, I think. **

**See ya!**


	4. Peru

**OH MY GOD THIS CHAPTER IS SO LATE *hides***

**Disclaimer: I disclaim all Tomb Raider characters and places involved. **

**Warnings: Swearing (milder than before, thank god) and cute/annoying bickering between James and Amanda. Because I can.**

**. . . **

**Recap**

"Look lady, I don't give a damn about Jacqueline Natla or her stupid company! Just let me sign out of this hellhole so I can move on with my life!" I snapped.

The woman's face paled, her brown eyes full of fear as they landed on the stone around my necklace. She quickly regained her composure and slid the book toward me, "I apologize. I don't know what came over me. You're boyfriend already paid."

I scribbled down the date and scowled at the woman, "yeah, neither do I." I meant her.

**. . .**

I turned to look at James, feeling completely bored, "Are we-"

"Don't say it." James warned, not taking his eyes off of the road.

"- there yet?" I finished, sticking out my lower lip.

"You had to say it." James sighed, "you know I hate it when you sound like a kid."

"I know you hate _kids_, but I thought you said it was a cute look on me." I countered.

"Sure I did." James rolled his eyes.

"But seriously, how much longer?" My face hardened as we approached a set of large wooden doors.

"Right through there." James lifted a finger to point at the doors.

They swung open violently as we drove right through. James swore loudly at the sight of the burning truck and the dead men on the ground.

"And that is why I can't fucking stand her." I steamed, climbing out of the jeep.

It was hot outside, but nothing I couldn't handle. Motioning for James to follow, I began walking down the road. I knew where my bike was supposed to be down to the last coordinate. I kicked aside one of the bodies of yet another dead mercenary. Every window of the homes around me were shut tight and the doors almost welded closed. I held my hand out and blew aside some crates, expecting to see my black Ducati waiting for me. It wasn't.

"Dammit!" I muttered, turning around to see if James had followed me with the jeep. He did.

He let out a loud laugh, "what happened to your precious motorcycle?" We both knew the answer.

"Lara took it, and that means she's going to get to Anaya. James, we've got to get going." I urged, climbing onto the back over the vehicle.

"What are you doing?" James asked, twisting around to look at me.

Rolling my eyes, I reached down and pulled a pistol from my boot, "don't ask just drive."

"Why do you have a pistol in your boot?" James quizzed as the car lurched forward onto the dusty road, "can't you just use fluffy?"

"My type of conventional force doesn't work with trigger-happy socialites." I shrugged and grabbed onto the bar lying across the roof.

Red dust sprayed from underneath the tires, scattering across the empty road, sticking to my face and spotting my hair. I ran my fingers through the blond strands hanging by my ears and shook the dust out. My side slammed into the back window as James nearly hit a rock formation.

"Learn how to drive, will ya?" I yelled down, a scowl set on my face.

"Sorry, I'll try harder next time." The vehicle jerked violently. _He's doing this on purpose._

"Are you trying to knock me off?" I scolded. The jeep shook violently again, "go to hell, James!"

"I'm just playing with you Amanda, calm the hell down!" James laughed as we neared a bridge.

I crouched down, pressing my cheek against the cool glass. It felt nice, but the second James shouted, I raised my head. I could see what caused the fuss- the bridge was crumbling behind us. _Dammit._

"James, punch it!" I shouted, bracing myself against the backside of the jeep.

The engine revved and for a moment we were suspended in mid-air. Tires collided with rock and I jolted upwards, nearly loosing my grip on the car.

"We're almost there, Amanda." James announced.

"Good to know. I'm about to- pillar!" I cut myself off, pointing toward the rock pillar we were headed straight for.

"I can't go around it!" James called, unbuckling his seatbelt and diving headfirst out of the car.

I took a deep breath, staring at the ground below me, and let go of the jeep. The car collided with the pillar as I hit the dirt. It hurt. It didn't matter anyways. We were only about a mile away now and the dirt road was littered with motorcycles, the drivers' bodies not far away.

"Well, when Lara does a job she sure does get it done." James commented, nudging one of the bodies with his foot.

I stood up, dusting off my pants, "don't get any ideas, James."

James walked over to me, giving me an innocently evil smile, "believe me, I'm not. Guys don't find British accents as attractive as girls do."

"Larson did." I smiled before whipping away from him, picking up the closest motorcycle.

"Who's Larson?"

"This big beefy guy that had a thing for Lara in college. Heard Lara killed him a few years ago."

"Oh." James made a funny face and I rolled my eyes.

"C'mon, dumbass."

**. . .**

"What the hell?" I blinked in disbelief at the sight before me.

James shook his head and dismounted the motorcycle, "idiots."

"Ugh, God. She's nuts." I commented.

Lara had managed to stop three trucks with two pistols and a motorcycle. How the hell does she do it?

**. . .**

Anaya was waiting in an ugly yellow Jeep near the site. I don't think she saw me, though. She was lying on the ground, talking hurriedly into a cell phone. Probably to Lara.

"We should wait up here. Not that I don't think you can hold your own against Lara or anything, but she's probably not very happy." James suggested.

"Thanks." I shot a look at James before sitting on the edge of the pit, remembering everything from that day so vividly. I never wanted to come back, and yet here I am. **Came. Came back. Back.**

**. . .**

**And there you have it. I know, not much really happened but I wanted to redeem myself.**


End file.
